2011

Aku rasa aku nak update blog aku setiap kali tahun baru. Rasa macam smart jugak an. tak payah nak letih letih update blog sepanjang tahun.

sad story

It's all about money, you can tell tale and lovely turn up stories, but in the end, your eyes gleam with cash, shimmering in your pitiful look of hippocrisy. Unbelievable of how man can dwell so much in a sight of selfishness and greed. It's all written clearly water in your eyes.

So stop pretending, and admit it. Money to you is for you and your own comfort.

damn You!

Damn YOu! Duit sewa rumah bulan nie tak bayar! aisey. sudah bulan 3 ka??? :(

Dah due kali ak bayar sewa rumah lambat. dan dah dua kali, responsable aku bising hantar email membunuh. rasa menyampah dan kegelian hati pon ade gak an. rasa cam menarik gak kalo buat kali ketiga. an an?. bulan March, bulan ketiga kalendar masihi, soz nak buat silap kali ketige pon ok lah dak?

Besok, pegi main weee-weee. dok depan, bentang-bentang, pastu main weee-weee. rendev-vous ngun member asing.

- rendev-vous sebab buat temu janji

-member asing sebab member tapi tak kenal? dah name member, tak kenal? ermm (~.~)

orait ah, janji boleh main weee-weee pon orait ah. Esok bertolak, seawal subuh atau semula-annye kepagiaan? APAKAH? haah

Janji esok jangan tetibe takde mood lak nak pegi. Your credit ECTS depends on this. And also my survival to second year ofkuz.

Tapi kalo sajew nak buat-buat pandai, nk mengada. nk buat sejarah, nak cipta langkah pertama geng malaysian ESTACA pemalas. den tetibe aku buat keputusan, taknak pegi? haha. lawak bodoh lah ko! KO NYE DIPLOME D'INGENIEUR bai! jagan nak buat lawak bodoh.

ERmm. iyok lah. esok bergerak ke area76. sampai ke area 98. metod pengankutan bawah tanah penggalian. kompem sulit dan menggerunkan!

hehe

Orleans and Paris here i Come. And Lycee "the fFuckK i care" wait for me. for sure i'll make a shit and perplexing presentation to you all :D

PEace Young french people!

Tahun 2011

Sekian tahun baru sudah pon menjelma. masing-masing sibuk meng-update dan bising membising pasal azam dan harapan tahun baru. Bagi aku, sambutan tahun baru tidak lah begitu meriah sebab dok sorang-sorang layan drama sampai larut malam. dan tengok jam, aik, dah awal tahun rupanye. begitulah kehidupan belajar di negara orang. tambah-tambah tempat aku nie ade berape kerat jer budak malaysia. tambah-tambah pulak time new year, aku sorang jew lepak kat bandar aku, sedangkan orang lain sumenye sibuk bercuti ke negara lain.

Perkara yang dulu asing dan agak mencabar bagi aku. tpi skrang dah jadi satu kebiasaan. :)

just a step is all i need.

Just one step closer towards a fine and cold holiday. Tomorrow will be the last class, the last sufferance of this tiring and hard year.

The fatigue and pressure are a great impact in my life. My life of a simple man learning to become wise by not stepping on his own poop. My simple definition of wise.

Because poop itself is a waste, and learning to hold your feet of steeping on the waste you tried to disintegrate is cool enough.

Learning to survive alone, trying to hold the cane with your own trembling. Walking with your surrounding's reflections rather that giving out and projects your own blurry image. Or maybe the image itself is so blurry that it defines a total perplexity for others. Well, the best thing of walking in the shadow is that you don't have the blame of committing errors to yourself, or feeling guilty of the mistake due to your own clumsy manner.

And you can play hide a seek. hiding through the vast accumulating shadows. lost in the darkness. too afraid to go out and smell the fresh air of responsibility. afraid to look up cuz the sunlight ray is so dense, it pokes your eyes till they break into tears. Not enough courage, to walk by your own path then commit a mistake,to fall, and succumb, to get hurt or even burned, to feel the pain, and the bruises decorated on your hand. a mark of a true warrior.

Walk around with blood represent the downfall and the hardship you learn from life. walk tall with the broken nose, a nice smell of blood dripping through your nose, having different cuts throughout your faces. Then you walk with high attitude. feeling proud.

And i sit there, all alone in my tiny spot. staring and staring, afraid to make the first pace. so maybe afraid to feel hurt. and just wondering, when will my savior save me from this horror of staring at a dark image of yourself.

eerie....

"Dear God, navigate me towards the right path and holds my paces from the path of evil. and help me in collecting the hints to construct a better home.a more welcoming and warmth one. because ime still long enough in defining my way back home...."

berlagak hebat.

erm. saja nak buat lutsinar, sebab bila buat pantul.

Nnti rasa bersalah dan segan. sebab tak cukup kuat tok kluarkan getaran.

Saja pakai pedang bila mnyampaikan. sebab kalau bersahaja, kita akan tidak dipedulikan.

Pakai pedang untuk berkomunikasi, biarkan salah paham. janji dapat lepas resah dan kerinduan.

Kekadang tak paham. tpi kefahaman yang mmbutukan kita,

kekadang kita buat endah tak endah, tapi ble ringtone... semua tak reti nak luahkan.

Senyap belagak hebat, padahal rindu tapi tak pandai nk melayang.

Tak perlu jaringan, sebb yang pasti kite punya enam! soz. senyuman.

Petite Serah...

Hye Serah. you look cute today. sorry i can't spend my time with you. you know, Snow is getting weak since last time. but still i think he can manage. and it's kinda hard to deal with him. beside, snow is fighting with all his might. i think he can manage all troubles without any of your worries. wait for yeah. when snow finish what he's dealing with. we can ofcuz be together. spending our perfect moment.

And serah, will you not stop smiling, and for me. I'll smile as long as you want me too.

Love, Hope.

waiting to die...

Is it possible to see your life through somebody's else eyes. :D

desperate emotions struggling to break through, but in the end. The door's shut tight and i'm grasping for more air to lengthen my living a bit more. i have this funny pounding in my chest. knocking to break free. and killing all my rational thinking for it's desire is more i can handle. no matter how hard i try, in the end. i still bow down hating for my own weakness. lost the war as i can see my self waiting to succumb and the land is filled with torments for i can only feel when my body collapse. herm.

no matter how hard i try. i still cannot resist this devilish temptation. perhaps one day, when my heart stop pounding and my gaze became blurry. well. the end is still a long way. so please guide me through my life. maybe a little hint for me to find my back home...

or a little lift perhaps. thank you...

give two object and i'll covey you their images, with a simplified form of a function, i'll lead them with no doubts cuz even though the road is long, when there's a will of finding it. a glimpse is all it takes.

jump like an evaporating spirit of joy, then land with a calm sensation of satisfaction.