lonely...

mcm mane perasaan duduk sorang?

meh sni nak hurai dengan lebih mendalam.

"When i wake up of the trembling sound from the church bell, it resonates through my eardrum, knocking me hard to my consciousness , I notice it's 7 in the morning, and it's still subuh prayer time, wake up lazily, founding myself in front of the mirror. with my messy hair, slowly open the water tap, and watch it flows... I stand still in this quietness of dawn.

Wash my face, brush my teeth, and froze as steel, i tilt my head, and see a lonely face, suddenly i knock my head to reality. let go all problems at ease. and finish my business in the bathroom.

AS i finish my prayer, i prepare a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee for breakfast, and i sit down staring at my own meal. turn my head around, and sigh for only cold air as my company. and i stay still, lost against the space. as though a living in an air tight vacuum, with no fresh air squeezing through. and then i bargain my way through life. What is more suffocating than lonely? because in my view, lonely tortures.

As though you are free to inhale the air, but the air won't flow through you, and you need to chase after them to make you live a second or two.

When you reach for the door, the doorknob refuse to turn, you give all your efforts to open the door but only realize your are the one turning it the wrong way.

When you try to sleep and cover yourself comfortably, your bed suddenly knock yourself to the ground, and instead, you doze on the floor, sulking from your own mind that forgot the bed is in the other room.

........."

'"'in my view. lonely tortures, and it gets worse when you try to find company, and

it lets you down. "'

"peace form this small thought of mind rebelling to see life from a brighter angle...."

my own world

Can you imagine of how a simple tiny part of ourself can somehow be the navigation of every pace we'r going through. Guiding us through all the hardship and anxiety of what our mistakes and agony lead us. But then it rebels and sending an impulsive caring signals of directions so that we can hold our next pace and rotate towards a brighter angle. So at the end of the road we'll have another path that divides in a naturally designed patterns of happiness. But sometimes, we forget to close our eyes, and feel it's beating.

Once you open the door, it leaps and pumps with excitement! You see an overflowing river of hope that never cease. So that when your hope crumbles you can stop by and refill.

You then turn 90 degree rotation west, u see a strong mountain chesting high his pride. Your curiosity blinds your intimidation. You lay there on the mountanis bed, staring at the sky. You smile when you then realise the mountains stand tall as a pillar supporting all the loads he receive....resembling the love you share, serves as a cane when your heart bursts to tears. But still holds yourself upright to fight the despair. No matter how tough life experiences teach you, once you have love, mere obstacle can be overcome with just a little pump of blood. We can easily wipe it out with a simple source of love acting as a fuel to keep it's harmony rhythm. Your lifetime compass. Sharing love and responding to you heart.... you will be surprise of how strong you will be.

You were sleeping peacefully when you suddenly open your eyes, and realise how wide the sky is, giving you the feeling of being home. When you tilt your head staring at the sky. It will always remain vast. Whenever you feel lost in this midst chaos of defining your trueself. Knock your head up a little and then you will face a serene sensation of faith!? A pure quietness, tranquility. it vows to give you serenity, and you blink saying thank you. firmly gripping your shirt of where your heart is positioned.

""can you be the check mark so that my heart can find you when we are both lost in finding our back home??""

Smiling graciously, golding your hand up, an act trying to grab the sky and secure it in your heart. So you will never feel so lonely again. because lonely tortures.

lost in tragedy...

Will you wait me with an open arm and a sweet hug?

A beautiful sweet black dressed lady waiting in inquisitive expressions of desperation to her one beloved husband. Dreaming of an overturn world that turbulates her peaceful mind.

But still she sits awaiting in hugh expectations to see a loving face she once knew.

She walks back and forth and had wasted her youth. To expect a love from an uncaring lad that leaves her behind like an item of no use.
Still she holds her tears, because tears only fell for those who dont believe in hope but in her mind resonates in a beatiful echo of anticipation, of a future she once decorated, with shining stars blinking in action.

Her husband stays astray in his owm world of shame. Afraid to face reality or creates another fantasy, he once filled with hope but today he lost against the slope,

the degree of frustations is to high, he lost regarding all the balance he tries to conquer, uncapable towards the strengh he tries to conjure,

floating in anger, of a mistake he once lured.

A beauty that turns out to be the lust that results in an overflowing dust of regret.

He breathes every single one of them praying to just evaporates like a boiling water that floats freely once turn to steam. Forgetting about the past and move along the stream.

He regrets of not appreciating the true love he had for his wife but then eager to find another one. Which is no other than an imagination of his own foolishnes.

He stands there crying and praying of all the sins he comited. Will it be least in burden for him to carry?! So he can move on and return to her fulfiling the lost dream they once carved!?

as midnight arrives

what is cool!

As midnight arrives and we prepare for a new day, please remember living your life by resourceful philosophy that all men are inherently good, is cool, treating all people as u wish to be treated is cool, giving your own life to respect that it deserves, that's the coolest of em all.

a clueless walking body

If they hide themselves among the population of this earth.

i'll simply point out blindfold their differences, Because they persistently hold their positions

of; consisting; composing; dwelling; decorated with;

clueless enigma, a hope that begets betrayal, outstanding treachery in our beliefs,

ironical how they lost the ability to believe while the parchments of love still resist,

walking around with their sarcasm attire, pretending to be the peacemaker

while hiding their true desires, a hopeless walking corps smirking in our happy hour.

Pitiful.

Down with your ambitious greed of discarding peace! Fall to the ground and plea for forgiveness! Cry blood! And leave our happy reunion alone! You walk around head high, nodding in every smiling faces you receive, pretending to be the man who give,

While the bloody hand we do shake, another soul returns at peace, leaving a crying soul-mate in disbelieve of what a treacherous world we all live.

Living a world of undetermined future, while this home we crave for more, stumbling it's strong pillars that keeps our feet to the ground! and maintain our gravity nine point ninty eight, But they proudly walking chest high smiling in pleasure of the comfort we all treasure! and for sure we are a blinded by their talking resolutions and peace loving policy. We held our hand high up demanding for more, kneeling our honor to the ground while kissing their blood-shredded hand. praising them like lord, and forgetting our true God.

We bow low, kissing their ugly feet while they hold a dagger ready to slash us in bits. And in the end, what a beautiful life do we have? (laughing in irony )

proudly saying.

Don't talk bad.

Stop talking bad about others.

Do you want to know something about our friend?

Wait a minute, Before you start telling, i would like to give you a test.

There simple questions, if you pass them, then i'll be glad to hear those news,

First: The news you want to talk about, are you sure that it is the true?

I dont know, i just heard it from a friend.

Good, you don't know if it's true or not, but still you want to talk about it. Ok, let's get to the second question. The news you want to talk about, is it a good part of him or a bad part of him?

It's his bad part.

So, you want to tell me something bad about your friend which you don't know if it's true or not? The last question is,

The news you are about to tell, will it be useful for me?

No, not really.

So, the news you want to talk about is neither true, nor good nor useful, so why do you insist on telling me so?

-Socrates-

It's fun right just to hear bad stuffs from our friend? haha.

come and let's fly together...

If you were a bird, than i'll be the fine cool air that lifts you upwards, if you were blinded by the soaring ray from the sun, i'll be the clouds that hovers to keep you guided.

If the moon is so dense in the eerie night, mind you, i'll keep you company till the first sunlight that gleams on your pretty face. Let us fly both together in searching our way home, if we then find ourself astray, save our anxiety and rejoice this moment we struggle to regain our direction. I'll be your compass and your backpack, i'll take the lead while serve you with the best.

I love seeing your smiling face, cuz your smile keeps me afloat. don't erase that sweet smile, cuz the blurry image will filled my heart with loath.

I feel lost and insecure but you are my only cure, stay by me side and lift me up high! Say hi to me and never say goodbyes, cuz for sure we'll meet again signing this lovely lulaby

Till next time friend...