lonely...

mcm mane perasaan duduk sorang?

meh sni nak hurai dengan lebih mendalam.

"When i wake up of the trembling sound from the church bell, it resonates through my eardrum, knocking me hard to my consciousness , I notice it's 7 in the morning, and it's still subuh prayer time, wake up lazily, founding myself in front of the mirror. with my messy hair, slowly open the water tap, and watch it flows... I stand still in this quietness of dawn.

Wash my face, brush my teeth, and froze as steel, i tilt my head, and see a lonely face, suddenly i knock my head to reality. let go all problems at ease. and finish my business in the bathroom.

AS i finish my prayer, i prepare a bowl of cereal and a cup of coffee for breakfast, and i sit down staring at my own meal. turn my head around, and sigh for only cold air as my company. and i stay still, lost against the space. as though a living in an air tight vacuum, with no fresh air squeezing through. and then i bargain my way through life. What is more suffocating than lonely? because in my view, lonely tortures.

As though you are free to inhale the air, but the air won't flow through you, and you need to chase after them to make you live a second or two.

When you reach for the door, the doorknob refuse to turn, you give all your efforts to open the door but only realize your are the one turning it the wrong way.

When you try to sleep and cover yourself comfortably, your bed suddenly knock yourself to the ground, and instead, you doze on the floor, sulking from your own mind that forgot the bed is in the other room.

........."

'"'in my view. lonely tortures, and it gets worse when you try to find company, and

it lets you down. "'

"peace form this small thought of mind rebelling to see life from a brighter angle...."